Change. Sometimes it feels like a cuss word. One we don't want to admit we are afraid of or use often. Then there is the Heraclitus, Greek philosopher of the late 6th century BCE, quote often quoted, "The only constant is change." In our world, right now, I truly couldn't agree more. Our world in education has changed immensely.
So how do we really deal with change in a healthy way? I am going to attempt to simplify the process. By going up and down the stages of grief1 as if they were stair steps, acknowledging along the way where you are and seeking the support to work through it, trying to get to the top landing where the change rests. Before you can even take your first step on the stairs, what change resting on the landing is causing you the most grief? Teaching virtually? Using Canvas? Taking attendance? You must narrow down, as much as possible, to the ONE change that is the most stressful. Now...the steps on those stairs.
Denial-At the denial stage, you might think and feel that there there is absolutely no need for change. You've got it and it works.
Anger-In this stage, you are just plain ol' mad you have to change. Period.
Bargaining-While in this stage, you are thinking that you'll change, but only until it changes again because there is a new program, or new principal, or we'll be back in the building, or the pendulum will swing back around.
Depression-This stage leads to feeling sad about the change because it meant you had to give up something you've invested in, whether it be time, effort or resources.
Acceptance-The final stage is where you accept the change and actually celebrate it!
After reading the 5 stages, I want you to SOAK it in. Appreciate each stage for what it is and leave no room for shame associated with any of the stages. Take it a step further and really SOAK2. This was a strategy I learned while quarantined in March after feeling ALL the feels. Read more about it here from Stephanie Affinito.
1) Stop where are you, right now in this present moment. Stop and reflect.
2) Own what stage you are feeling while grieving. Acknowledge the stage. Remember, shame has no home here.
3) Ask what is the most loving thing you can do for yourself? Maybe it's find someone you trust who will listen to you tell them all about the stage of grief you are in. Maybe it's find someone who can help you connect what you invested in to connect with the change. Maybe it is throwing eggs at a tree outside to release some anger. Only you know what will help you.
4) Keep going. Do the thing for yourself and keep going. Don't give up. People love you and are ready to support you. Your students need it.
1 Gregory PhD, Christina. "The Five Stages of Grief." PSYCOM. https://www.psycom.net/depression.central.grief.html
2 Affinito, Stephanie. "Try the SOAK Method." The Coaching Sketching Notebook. May 18, 2020 https://stephanieaffinito.blogspot.com/2020/05/try-soak-method.html