Resistance and Acceptance

I am a learner. It's my top strength. Because I love to learn, I also love to read. While reading this morning, I read a statement that made me stop and reflect on the Virginia Literacy Act. To summarize, "resistance causes excess stress so it's better to accept things. However, acceptance does not mean approval."  So I went on a deep dive of thinking and research on definitions. 

re·sist·ance

/rəˈzist(ə)ns/

noun

1. 1.

   the refusal to accept or comply with something; the attempt to prevent something by action or argument.

   "she put up no resistance to being led away"

   
   

ac·cept·ance

/əkˈsept(ə)ns/

noun

1. 1.

   the action of consenting to receive or undertake something offered.

   "charges involving the acceptance of bribes"

con·sent

/kənˈsent/

noun

1. 1. permission for something to happen or agreement to do something.

ap·prov·al

/əˈpro͞ov(ə)l/

noun

1. 1. the action of approving something.

   "the road plans have been given approval"
2. 
   
3. 2) the belief that someone or something is good or acceptable.

    "step-parents need to win a child's approval"

Refusing to accept the VLA leads to things that are 100% out of our circle of control. If I chose to refuse what it is asking me to do, I am going to be one stressed out, unhappy person. On the other hand, I can accept the VLA. I consent to following what it asks me to do and give it permission to direct my actions. What I LOVE is that neither acceptance or consent means approval because the second definition of approval is the belief that something is good or acceptable. 

Let's be honest. There are some things with the Virginia Literacy Act that I accept but do not approve. There are somethings that aren't good. Not everything can be. However, I am not going to resist because that will get me nowhere I want to be. 

Trust the Process

I always used to hear the words from a mentor, "Trust the process, Haley. Be patient and stop trying to rush it." 

I am not going to lie to you and tell you that I always trust now or am always patient. But by golly, I now know how to trust the process and be patient. Things always seem to work out the way they were meant to be and most of the time, even better than when I tried to control it all and figure it out myself. 

While this blog post is about trusting the process of your life, I connected it to trusting the process of learning with MyView! Ugh. What a messy process that has been for all of us, am I right? 

Read all about 4 ways that you can trust the process of what MyView is trying to do when teaching our kids. 

1) Be resilient. "If you believe that everything is in your control, drop that story now. Change is the only constant. Resilient people surrender to uncertainty. They understand that we have very little control over what happens in life, and by adopting this mindset, they have trust in the process."

2) Embrace The Unknown "Humans dislike ambiguity of any kind. Anything that doesn’t feel safe, stable, and comfortable feels dangerous. The fact of the matter is that we don’t know what life will throw us, but if we embrace the unknown and get comfortable being uncomfortable, we will be better prepared for anything." 

3) Focus on your Purpose "Trusting the process is about accepting that hardships will happen along your journey to success, but having confidence that every lesson is bringing you one step closer to fulfilling your purpose in life. Whether you want to believe it or not, failure is a good thing. It is proof that you are trying." You are here so kids learn how to read and write and that is SO very important! 

4) Practice Gratitude "Feeling grateful has been associated with less frequent negative emotions and thoughts, more frequent positive emotions and thoughts, greater meaning in life, more positive coping, a greater appreciation of life." I am sure there are some things that are going right with MyView. Celebrate them! 

 How are you going to trust the process? Trust me when I say, once you do, you will be a lot happier! :) 

MyView Learning Letter #20 - Thinking Positive

In my classroom, one of my favorite sayings was, "If you think you can, you will. If you think you can't, you won't." Sometimes you can't do something, but ultimately you can...with time. I think I would change it to, "If you think you can no matter when, you will. If you always think you can't forever, you won't." 

Our minds have SO much power! We sometimes don't give them enough credit. Sometimes, there is a trigger and it generates a thought. Based on that thought, it leaves us feeling a certain kind of way that finally, impacts our actions. This is a great reference article for kids, but I found it extremely helpful. (Technically, it's called Cognitive Behavior Therapy or CBT for short. Yes, I am a FIRM believer that everyone needs counseling!) 

So, my encouragement to you is to try and change your thoughts as much as possible to something positive. It is WAY easier than it sounds! Trust me! LOL A good scaffold to help us get into the routine is to use a mantra. Here are must a few examples. 

1. I decide what success for me should look like.
2. Breathe in love, breathe out hate.
3. I am me, and that’s enough for today.
4. I am on my own path, chosen by no one but me.
5. I choose to focus on solutions.
6. Day by day, I am learning how to fulfill my purpose in this life.
7. I am not in control of anything or anyone, only myself.
8. I have the power to let go of the negative.
9. I will exhale all that weighs me down.

Need more ideas for mantras, check out this post. And always remember! This is a learning year. Walkthroughs are non-evaluative and are only there to offer support as we grow. 

Sending you good, positive vibes as we navigate this change together! :) 

MyView Learning Letter #19-Expectations

As we implement new high quality instructional materials, there are lots of questions about what is ok and what's not ok. We are trying to be clear and kind so we created a document to help. (It can be found on the MyView webpage towards the middle.) We will continue to update it as the year goes. Share your wonders to help us be even more clear and kind!!! 

Lots of learning is taking place this year so remember to give yourself lots of grace while you make those mistakes! It will be ok! Remember, all the walk throughs and feedback are non-evaluative. We want to support you and help you implement the HQIM with confidence! 

5 Stages of Grief with Change

Change. Sometimes it feels like a cuss word. One we don't want to admit we are afraid of or use often. Then there is the Heraclitus, Greek philosopher of the late 6th century BCE, quote often quoted, "The only constant is change." In our world, right now, I truly couldn't agree more. Our world in education has changed immensely. 

So how do we really deal with change in a healthy way? I am going to attempt to simplify the process. By going up and down the stages of grief1 as if they were stair steps, acknowledging along the way where you are and seeking the support to work through it, trying to get to the top landing where the change rests. Before you can even take your first step on the stairs, what change resting on the landing is causing you the most grief?  Teaching virtually? Using Canvas? Taking attendance? You must narrow down, as much as possible, to the ONE change that is the most stressful. Now...the steps on those stairs.  

Denial-At the denial stage, you might think and feel that there there is absolutely no need for change. You've got it and it works. 

Anger-In this stage, you are just plain ol' mad you have to change. Period. 

Bargaining-While in this stage, you are thinking that you'll change, but only until it changes again because there is a new program, or new principal, or we'll be back in the building, or the pendulum will swing back around. 

Depression-This stage leads to feeling sad about the change because it meant you had to give up something you've invested in, whether it be time, effort or resources. 

Acceptance-The final stage is where you accept the change and actually celebrate it! 

After reading the 5 stages, I want you to SOAK it in. Appreciate each stage for what it is and leave no room for shame associated with any of the stages. Take it a step further and really SOAK2. This was a strategy I learned while quarantined in March after feeling ALL the feels. Read more about it here from Stephanie Affinito. 

1) Stop where are you, right now in this present moment. Stop and reflect. 

2) Own what stage you are feeling while grieving. Acknowledge the stage. Remember, shame has no home here.

3) Ask what is the most loving thing you can do for yourself? Maybe it's find someone you trust who will listen to you tell them all about the stage of grief you are in. Maybe it's find someone who can help you connect what you invested in to connect with the change. Maybe it is throwing eggs at a tree outside to release some anger. Only you know what will help you. 

4) Keep going. Do the thing for yourself and keep going. Don't give up. People love you and are ready to support you. Your students need it. 

1 Gregory PhD, Christina. "The Five Stages of Grief." PSYCOM. https://www.psycom.net/depression.central.grief.html

2 Affinito, Stephanie. "Try the SOAK Method." The Coaching Sketching Notebook. May 18, 2020 https://stephanieaffinito.blogspot.com/2020/05/try-soak-method.html